but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Randomize