She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
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no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
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I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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