My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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