weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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