I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Randomize
