he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
