just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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