I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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