Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just cut my nipple shaving
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
