Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We have started to decorate penises.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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