I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
