Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
