Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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