overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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