Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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