Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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