Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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