you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
