and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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