I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
