Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
