I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I faked an abortion last night.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize