You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
As shirtless as possible
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
