at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
