I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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