Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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