i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
