Heybabeimwearingurpanties
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
