So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He felt like a one man threesome
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
