did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
you never un-have a 4some
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize