did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
