Do you still have your period?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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