I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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