You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
