I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
