So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
