He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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