she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
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