Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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