I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize