I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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