He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He told me they were just razor bumps!
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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