I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
porn star boner night. come get it.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
