I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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