she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
