I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
