I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Randomize
