she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
