Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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