So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
