I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
