So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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