I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
