shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get the cat blown out
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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