If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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