Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
