I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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