Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
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