ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
