I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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